Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Rough Draft # 3
About two years ago something bad happen in my life "My Grandpa had Died". It first started when my dad picked me up from my old school Lee Elementary. He told me something sad happened in our life. I don't think you are going to believe me ,but your grandpa just died the other day. So I told my dad "This can't be true he didn't die not yet. When I heard what my dad told me that sentence I was frozen like an ice cube for ten minutes because I was shocked to hear that my grandpa has died.
When my dad told me the the news I didn't believe it. I thought it was all super FAKE! I knew i just had to believe my dad on this one. After I left my old school Lee Elementary early we went to my grandpa's funeral in Point Loma. My grandma was crying for my grandpa Bill. She was crying like a big shower like rain. Boom!! they were shooting bullets into the sky. Why are they doing that dad. Well since grandpa Bill was part of the Navy they just have to do that. Like one day you are part of the navy they will do the same thing to you. After the funeral for my grandpa we just left back to my house. Even if I die I will still remember my awesome grandpa Bill.
Two years this same day was when the funeral happened also today was my grandpa's birthday . So its been two years since my grandpa has died its two years since the funeral. Every day I wish that my grandpa is there with me and he is in my heart all the time.
The End
When my dad told me the the news I didn't believe it. I thought it was all super FAKE! I knew i just had to believe my dad on this one. After I left my old school Lee Elementary early we went to my grandpa's funeral in Point Loma. My grandma was crying for my grandpa Bill. She was crying like a big shower like rain. Boom!! they were shooting bullets into the sky. Why are they doing that dad. Well since grandpa Bill was part of the Navy they just have to do that. Like one day you are part of the navy they will do the same thing to you. After the funeral for my grandpa we just left back to my house. Even if I die I will still remember my awesome grandpa Bill.
Two years this same day was when the funeral happened also today was my grandpa's birthday . So its been two years since my grandpa has died its two years since the funeral. Every day I wish that my grandpa is there with me and he is in my heart all the time.
The End
Monday, April 28, 2008
Sentece Veriety
This is a sentence that I think that is really long. When I heard what my dad told me that sentence I was frozen like an ice cube for ten minutes because I was shocked to hear that my grandpa has died.
This is a sentence I think that is really short.
Also every kind of navy gets this kind of Funeral.
This is a sentence I think that is really short.
Also every kind of navy gets this kind of Funeral.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Cutting The Fat
These Are the sentences that I think I should take out.
After I left my old school Lee Elementary early we went to my grandpa's funeral in Point Loma.
Like one day you are part of the navy they will do the same thing to you. Also every kind of navy gets this kind of funeral.
After I left my old school Lee Elementary early we went to my grandpa's funeral in Point Loma.
Like one day you are part of the navy they will do the same thing to you. Also every kind of navy gets this kind of funeral.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Rough Draft # 2
About two years ago something bad happen in my life "My Grandpa had Died". It first started when my dad picked my up from my old school Lee Elementary. He told me something sad happened in our life. I don't think you are going to believe me ,but your grandpa just died the other day. So I told my dad "This can't be true he didn't die not yet. When I heard what my dad told me that sentence I was frozen like an ice cube for ten minutes because I was shocked to hear that my grandpa has died.
When my dad told me the the news I didn't believe it I thought it was all super FAKE! I knew i just had to believe my dad on this one. After I left my old school Lee Elementary early we went to my grandpa's funeral in Point Loma. My grandma was crying for my grandpa Bill. She was crying like a big shower like rain. Hey dad I can see High Tech High Media Arts. Boom!! they were shooting bullets into the sky. Why are they doing that dad. Well John, since grandpa Bill was part of the Navy they just have to do that. Like one day you are part of the navy they will do the same thing to you. Also every kind of navy gets this kind of funeral.
When my dad told me the the news I didn't believe it I thought it was all super FAKE! I knew i just had to believe my dad on this one. After I left my old school Lee Elementary early we went to my grandpa's funeral in Point Loma. My grandma was crying for my grandpa Bill. She was crying like a big shower like rain. Hey dad I can see High Tech High Media Arts. Boom!! they were shooting bullets into the sky. Why are they doing that dad. Well John, since grandpa Bill was part of the Navy they just have to do that. Like one day you are part of the navy they will do the same thing to you. Also every kind of navy gets this kind of funeral.
Finding you focus slowing down the "Hot Spot"
Hey dad why do those navy people have guns and shooting bullets into the sky. The gun noises are so loud its like my ear was just near a giant explosion. And also John its part of the funeral because your grandpa Bill was part of the navy. For every navy person in the navy will get this kind of funeral.
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